k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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