she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
