Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
