i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize