you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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