just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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