i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
