help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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