I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize