You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize