I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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