pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
