can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
