I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
