I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Randomize
