so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
