Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
