omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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