Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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