This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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