I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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