I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
