Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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