Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
