sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
