he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
