i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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