I wannas sexs uuuuu
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
