she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
