We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
