if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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