That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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