jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
zippers are such a cool invention
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
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