What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
