there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
