he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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