While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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