A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Fuck appropriateness.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
