My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You can't just leave with hair like that
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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