Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
