Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
