FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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