38 yer olds are good kisserssss
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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