Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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