He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
