should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
