all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
How does it feel to date your dad?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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