i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
