it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
