Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
