how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
