wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i think i have two assholes
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
