oh fat girl friday strikes again...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
