My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
