being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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