My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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