yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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