haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
