Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize