even my farts smell like vagina
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Houston, we have a blender
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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